I found this poem online and loved it. I had to post it so that I will always have it for future reference. So sweet, and so true!

Before I was a Mom I made and ate hot meals.

I had unstained clothing.

I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom I slept as late as I wanted

And never worried about how late I got into bed.

I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom, I cleaned my house each day.

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom, I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom, I had never been pooped on,

Spit up on,

Chewed on,

Peed on,

Or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom, I had complete control of myself;

My thoughts, My body, And my mind.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew something so small could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom, I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every ten minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth,

The joy,

The love,

The heartache,

The wonderfulment,

Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

- Unknown

As you can see from the photos, Erin and Zach have just finished their first science projects. It was exhausting. For me, not for them. I remember science projects being so much fun as a kid! What happened?? Oh yes. I know. I became the mom. And when your kids are only 7 and 8, the kids' science projects become the mom's science projects.

On the bright side, I really enjoyed spending time with the kids to get this done. Some of it was stressful time, granted. But I like spending time with them and I don't think I do it enough. Also, when I looked today at their posters, I noticed they both had THIRD PLACE RIBBONS on them!!! I didn't tell the kids. I wanted them to be surprised when they go look later with their class. But how exciting! They will be thrilled! They really did help me a lot. I have really great kids. :)

Wally has decided there are way too many pronouns in this world. To solve this crisis, he has eliminated he and his from his vocabulary. This morning he was chatting away to me about Richie.

"Yesterday I went and got him some guys and legos, and him was really happy and that made me happy too. I'm going to go get him some more when him is done with him cereal."

During Family Home Evening this week, he said something like, "Him can't do it." We all lightly laughed and smiled. Scott gently corrected him. "He can't do it." "No. Him can't do it." "No. HE." "No. HIM."

Like I said, it doesn't matter what is grammatically correct. There are just too many pronouns, and come hell or high water, he will fix this problem. Excuse me, I meant, him will fix this problem.

I love being a mother. Not all the time of course, but overall, I love it. Just a few days ago, after having been very onery to everyone for two days straight, I broke down and started bawling to Scott about how I don't feel like I do anything for myself. Everything I do is for someone else, and I was tired and I just wanted some time for ME. Not one of my best days. :) But I'm doing better now, and it reminded me that I do need to make sure I squeeze in time for myself between Russell's feedings and preparing meals and changing diapers and trips to the dentist and reading picture books and teaching piano and stopping fights and trips to the doctor and washing dishes and folding laundry and going grocery shopping and bathing the kids and picking up toys and making beds and occasionally showering... :) So I am writing in my blog today. It is my laundry day. I have at least five loads to get through today. Also, I have dishes piled overflowing in my sink and covering my countertops and an empty dishwasher just waiting to be filled (thanks to my sweet Scott who unloaded it this morning) because yesterday I decided to make homemade cinnamon rolls instead of doing the dishes which were already piled up but soon became completely unmanageable. It's the times that I am behind that I feel the greatest need to spend time for me. I hate to feel overwhelmed and like I am not on top of things....

Ok, so back to my original comment. I love being a mother. My good mom has been emailing out some of her journal entries from when she was a new mother, and they have made me laugh out loud and sometimes cry. I have really been noticing the hilarious things my kids do since then and I wanted to write some of them down.

I have been teaching Erin piano for quite awhile now, and she is very gifted musically and I can tell she likes to play. But because I am her mother, she is very dramatic whenever I ask her to practice. She falls to the floor and begins crying or stomps her feet all the way the piano where she proceeds to jump up and down as loudly as she can. Even writing this makes me totally laugh, which is usually what I do to her until I finally add extra chores to her list or send her to her room. She is so dramatic. I love her to death. Anyway, she especially hates her Technic book because it's just boring finger exercises. When I told her to practice the other day, she cried, "I HATE Technic!!! If there is anything in this world I could destroy it would be Technic!!!" This is what she wrote on her piano book. I got very upset with her and she erased it, but I still want to share because it made me laugh. "ERIN HATES THIS! P.S. she's not egzadgrating!" I love it. She loves to use big words. A few days ago, I went downstairs where she had been taking a shower. She was sitting wrapped in her towel with a very tear-stained face. She had started crying because she was upset with me for making her take a shower. But soon it changed to crying because she said she realized all I did for her and how sad she would be if I died. I held her until she began to feel better. She has so many strong emotions inside her. I told Scott it's strange for me to watch her because I remember doing those same things as a child. She is so much like me it's freaky. She wrote in her journal that night that "Me and mom were very affectionate tonight." So sweet.

Zachie is such an individual. I think his goal in life is to make people laugh. I admit it can get annoying as a parent, but he really is so sweet and plays so well with his little brothers. They follow him around as soon as he gets home from school and he is always willing to play with them, usually whatever they want. He and Wally just play together for hours and hours. He wrote me this note and gave it to me after Sacrament meeting last week. I retained the spelling. "To: Mom & Dad. For my Birthday i want my sims agents, a remot control air plane, idyana jons 2 (Indiana Jones), the nwe (new) starwars, a sled, a snow bord, a pet dog, a pet mous, and some nwe close (new clothes). thank you! love Zach." I just had to laugh. What a list. I got the feeling he wanted to include everything he could possibly think of at the time just to be on the safe side. I love his notes. He writes them for me all the time. The other day he asked me if he could run away. I said no. He asked if he could just pretend to run away. I said as long as he didn't leave the house. So he gathered up all his stuff in a big box, gave me a runaway note, and went downstairs. It was so adorable. His note said that he was running away, but not to worry because he would be fine. He then added that he would just be around the block if we ever wanted to visit. And to "please come visit." It was so cute.

Wally is growing up so much. I put him to work all the time around the house while the kids are at school. And he almost always does whatever I ask. At least ten times a day, he randomly comes up to me and says, "I love you, mom." It is one thing about him I will always always remember. I love that he says that to me all the time. It melts my heart. He is also a very tough, very headstrong, very perfectionist little guy. I see a lot of myself in him too. Yesterday one of my piano students came to the door and knocked. Richie and Wally both ran to answer it. (This happens A LOT at my house) Neither one wanted to relinquish their hold on the doorknob and Wally did NOT want to share. So finally I helped and opened the door to let my poor student in from the freezing rain. Richie ran off to play, and Wally lost all control. He threw himself onto the ground kicking and screaming. I think I put him in his room about 8 times. Each time he came out, he would say amidst his screaming and crying, "Mom. Mom. I want to talk to you." I kept saying I would love to talk to him but he needed to stop throwing a fit first. He would then throw a bigger fit and I would follow him to his room. He didn't want me to touch him, so he would just run to his room every time I approached him. I am trying to do a piano lesson through all of this, by the way. So finally he comes out and is still crying but calm enough to talk to me. He says that he will share with Richie and that he wants the piano student to go back outside so they can let her in. I offer to go out and ring the doorbell instead. But no, it has to be her. She gracefully agreed to do so and went out to ring the doorbell. He also won't open it alone. He wants to "share" with Richie. So we go off to find Richie, and together, they open the door. Then he is happy and good as an angel. He just had to make things right. He couldn't be satisfied until he had fixed the problem exactly as it should be fixed. Very much my little perfectionist.

Richie came up to me yesterday and gave me a big hug and then just started kissing and kissing my hand. It was so adorable. He has started saying "why" to everything Scott and I say. Eventually I run out of reasons and just change the subject, but it seems Scott never tires of it and always comes up with another reason. Richie ADORES Scott. He wakes up asking for his daddy and complains that he wants daddy to do it when I change his diaper. He is always the first to come running and screaming when Scott gets home at night. It is so sweet to watch. And every night in the early morning hours, he comes crawling into bed to cuddle with his daddy.

Russell is the happiest baby I have ever seen. All of my babies have been pretty good, but he is amazing. He sleeps 6-9 hours every night. Six hours is a bad night. Usually it's 8 or 9. And he loves his pacifier so he's always so easy to console. He laughs and smiles at me whenever we make eye contact. Whenever I sing, he gets really excited and laughs and kicks his feet like crazy. If I am holding him and talking to someone, they always randomly start talking and playing with him because he laughs and smiles at them, thinking they are talking to him. He loves interaction. The other kids LOVE him. Erin picks him up and carries him all over the place. This morning Zach, Wally, and Richie were eating breakfast and I brought Russell in to say good morning. They all started cooing and talking to Russell, and Russell laughed and talked back to them. It made me cry. My four little boys. They are all so good, and I love that they love each other. And that's what made me decide today to write this post. I love being a mother.

I love Christmas! The Christmas trees, the gift giving, the lights, the songs. It's all magical, and I love it! This year for Christmas, Scott and I decided to give our neighbors a framed picture of Jesus Christ, a Book of Mormon, and our written testimonies. They have been wonderful friends to us for several years. We love them. After writing our testimonies down, I felt prompted to share them with more than just our neighbors -- I wanted to share them with anyone who reads my blog (which is basically our family). What better time to share our testimonies of Christ than at Christmas? So here are Scott's and my testimonies that we shared with our good neighbors. May we all remember the reason for the season. Merry Christmas!!

SHANNON

I was raised in the LDS faith by two wonderful parents, and from a young age, I gained a firm belief of who our Father in Heaven was, who Jesus Christ was, and who I was -- a child of God. But then a period of my life came where I lost that faith, not just of my religion, but of all religion. I began to doubt even myself and my divine nature. I came to a point where I had to know, one way or another, whether Jesus Christ lived or not, whether there was a purpose to my existence or not, and if the faith I had as a child was true. I began to pray. My first prayer at this point in my life was very difficult. I felt silly kneeling down and speaking to a God I did not know even existed. But I was willing to try because my desire to know was strong. My answer did not come with that first prayer. But I continued to pray daily, and I also read the scriptures daily. One day as I was praying, I felt very warm inside, like someone was hugging me tightly with so much love. As I sat there crying, I knew Heavenly Father had spoken to me. I didn't have all my questions answered, but I knew Heavenly Father was real and He loved me.

I believe in the power of personal revelation and that each person can receive direct communication from Heavenly Father in their effort to find truth. I believe Heavenly Father knows each of us personally and that He loves us individually. I believe each of us on Earth is a child of God. I believe Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and that he saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I believe there is also a prophet on Earth today, and his name is Thomas S. Monson. I believe the Holy Bible is the word of God. I also believe the Book of Mormon is true, and it is the word of God. This book truly testifies of Jesus Christ and His divinity. I believe families can be -- and are meant to be -- together forever when they are sealed together with the proper authority in one of the Lord's holy temples. I believe in our Savior, Jesus Christ, that He was born in a lowly stable, and that angels appeared on Earth to proclaim His birth. I believe He was the Son of God, that he lived a perfect life, and most especially, that He suffered in Gethsemane and died on the cross for each of us, individually, so that each of us could repent of our sins and someday return again to live with our Father in Heaven and be as He is. I have felt my Heavenly Father speak peace and truth to my heart many times. I know He is real.

SCOTT

Because of the love I feel towards you and the feelings I have about the gospel of Jesus Christ, I want to share them with you. First off, I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that He lived and died so that I can repent and be forgiven for mistakes that I have made and for ones that I will continue to make. I know that He wants us to try to be better and so we have a church that helps us do that. I know that the authority to act in God's name (the Priesthood) is real and can only be found in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. With that authority we can be blessed, baptized, and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. I know that with that authority we can also be married (sealed) for time and all eternity. I have prayed about Joseph Smith being a prophet and I have felt the truthfulness of that. Through those feelings, I can say that I know Joseph Smith is and was a prophet of God. God's church and priesthood were restored through the prophet Joseph Smith. I have read the Book of Mormon many times and I have prayed about its truthfulness as well. I know the Book of Mormon is other scripture from our Heavenly Father. I continue to read and pray, and I continue to feel that I am going in the right path. Thank you for letting me share these most precious feelings of mine with you.

It was Wally's birthday last Saturday, December 10. It was his first "friend" party and I have to say I think it was a success. He was so excited for it. He talked about it every day for like three weeks beforehand. The kids and I made a pinata! It was the first pinata I've ever done on my own. It took all week because you have to let it completely dry in between stages, but it was really pretty easy to do. Messy, yes, but no longer intimidating. Growing up, we always did a pinata for part of our Christmas Eve celebration, but it has been quite awhile since I have been home for Christmas. And as I said, I have never done one all on my own, so I was nervous about it. (Although I would have never admitted it to Scott) But it was a huge success and I took pictures! I think we were all pretty proud of it. It is a bumblebee, just in case you couldn't tell. It held up pretty well. The kids all had fun whamming it.

After it was all over for the next several days, Wally kept saying, "I'm so big. I'm already four. I'm four now, huh?" Scott and I have unintentionally taught our children to say "huh" after everything they say. I think we started saying because we wanted verification that our children were listening. Now the whole family does it all the time. A little buggy sometimes, but it's a habit I bet we won't soon break. And we only have to blame ourselves. Have you ever noticed all of your children's bad habits can be linked directly to yourself? That's how I feel...

Anyway, Good Times!! It was fun to do Wally's birthday this year. I have kind of forgotten it the past few years with Christmas and all, but this time we went all out for his birthday and he had a ball. The Spiderman costume is his gift from Scott and me. My sister in law Meghan has one for her kids, and Wally is always wearing it whenever he goes over there, so we got him his very own!! He LOVES it. I have pictures of him sleeping in it. He went Christmas caroling in it. And he wanted very much to wear it to church, but we have to draw the line somewhere. It's fun to give something that is so much appreciated. :) Sure love my little ones.

Halloween is over!! I had fun; I always have fun coming up with costumes and carving pumpkins (Scott's least favorite part I think). Here are pictures of all my little creatures this year!! Erin was a witch. Zach was Two-Face (from Batman). Wally was a dragon. Richie was a spider. And Russell was a bunch of grapes (which Scott commented was maybe a little feminine). I am also posting a picture of our pumpkins that we worked so hard on this year. I am not very artistically talented, but I love it. It is so much fun creating something and looking at it afterwards all finished. So maybe my little Zach does get some of his love of art from me. (Every day, he comes to me and asks, "Mom, can I be crafty?" Which means he wants to make crafts, but I'm never quite sure how to answer that one.) Anyway, that's why I love carving pumpkins! Can you guess which child designed which pumpkin?

But I feel especially glad this year that Halloween is over. Maybe it's because I have such a new little baby. Maybe it's because I'm not quite feeling good enough yet to be tromping all over town with my husband and five kids for hours on end, everyone eating candy to the point that these same kids are bouncing off the walls and I feel like throwing up, and then coming home to try to find some way to entice them to go to sleep. I also think I came down with some bug that night. All day yesterday I still felt achy and tired.

Today is better though! The kids are dressed, I am even SHOWERED and ready before noon, my Thanksgiving wreath is on my door and my Halloween decorations put away, and I may even get to that mountain of laundry on my bed. I just feel excited for Thanksgiving. I was thinking this morning that I think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love the cool weather outside but no kind of obligation to go out and stay in it until I'm sick. Thanksgiving season to me is perfect... crisp cold biting the air, beautiful fall colors, drinking hot cider or hot chocolate bundled up in a blanket. And then the actual holiday! Lots of family, lots of food, lots of love and fun, but without the stress and financial strain of Christmas. Don't get me wrong -- I love Christmas! Scott has laid down the law that I can't play my Christmas music while he's at home until after Thanksgiving... but I play it plenty when he's not here!! :) I love LOVE Christmas music and the wonderful feeling in the air. Thanksgiving gives me that same wonderful feeling, but without all the commercialism. I just really feel relief that Halloween is over and I can rest a little, and excited for the wonderful Thanksgiving season!! In conclusion, I am going to sing you all one of my favorite songs that I think will put us all in the right mood....

"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,

Jack Frost nipping at your nose,

Yuletide carols being sung..."

Ok, ok, honey. I'll give it a few more weeks. :)