Yesterday evening I went to the grocery store with Wally, Richie, and Russell. Wally and Richie hung onto sides of the cart and did pretty well, although a little hyper, throughout the store. Then at the very end, Richie wanted Wally's spot on the cart, and Wally did not want to share. So began his royal fit. It began as screaming and sitting down, informing me he was "not going to leave this spot." I walked away. Then he followed screaming, trying to force his way back onto his spot on the cart, lots of jumping up and down, throwing himself on the ground, and more screaming. He did not hit, which looking back on it, says a lot. I did not help matters very much and mostly ignored him. I should have stopped and talked him through it. Wally is the kind of kid that works very well with, but I didn't. And as I was trying to leave the store with him trying to block my way (screaming all the while), I finally grabbed his arm, pinched him, and told him I was very close to spanking him and he better move NOW. He did. But he was not happy with me. Yelling about how I hurt him, he followed me to the van. When we got there, he yelled to me that when daddy got home, I was gonna be in trouble! I said when daddy got home, HE was the one who was going to be in trouble. He responded that he was going to tell daddy that I had pinched his arm and daddy was going to be mad at me! I told him that I would tell daddy how he had thrown fits in the grocery store and daddy was going to mad at him! But I was honestly laughing very hard inside. He was threatening me with his daddy. Scott has made quite an impression on our children. He makes us all believe that he will back each of us 100% of the time and will always be on our side. I know I feel the same way (although with me it's actually true). That is a difficult task to accomplish, because he even though he definitely still disciplines them and makes them obey, he lets them know he loves them and they know he listens to them. I don't always listen, as I proved in the store. I often just react or send them away to their rooms so I can ignore them until they calm down. He is such a good, patient father.

This morning during my cereal, I read the talk by President Boyd K. Packer from this last General Conference address, entitled, "And a Little Child Shall Lead Them." Beautiful, amazing talk. It made me cry to hear it and cry to read it again. He gives a quote from Psalm 127:3,5. "Children are an heritage of the Lord: and... happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them." When I read that, I immediately thought of my experience with Wally at the store last night. I definitely feel like my quiver is full of children, and I don't know that I felt happy about it last night during Wally's tantrum in the middle of Soelberg's. Ok, I didn't feel happy about it. I felt embarrassed and frustrated and somewhat angry. But if I would have thought more on this scripture, I could have had a better outlook, and probably been more helpful to Wally. He isn't just a little boy throwing a fit, he is an heritage of the Lord. And the truth is, I am happy, so happy to have Wally.  Just like I am happy to have my sweet little girl Erin, even after she bawls at me that nobody in this family loves her or understands her and runs down to her room dramatically. I am happy to have my hilarious little Zachie, who gets in trouble at school for talking out of turn or taking other kid's things just to get attention. I am happy to have adorable little Richie, who unrolls the whole roll of toilet paper in the bathroom or leaves his popsicle melting all over the countertop, ruining notebooks and bills and every other paper I have laying around. And I am so happy to have my sweet, happy little baby Russell, whom I stayed up nursing for over an hour last night and finally got him back to his crib, only to have him wake up again in a half hour.

I am happy to have each of them, as close as they are and no matter what hard times we have. They make me laugh so hard and they make my heart full when they hug me or draw me pictures or pick me flowers. I LOVE having my quiver full of children. I love being surrounded by them at church, and taking their pictures with them all lined up. I love turning on music to start cleaning and watching them all dance around the house. I think of my good mom, who now has an empty nest at home and how much she still would much prefer to be surrounded by her children and grandchildren than to have peace and quiet at home. I love this stage of my life. It is not always easy, it is definitely not quiet, but it is happy. I am so grateful to have my quiver full of children. What a blessing they are to me! This Mother's Day weekend, I am reminded how lucky I am to be a mother to so many wonderful little children. They do make me happy!!